My Life To Do List

1.  Stop Smoking   -  Ugh, yes I smoke, a closet smoker literally.  I sneak in my bathroom two to three times a day and have a cigarette.  I try to hide it from my children, I'm ashamed, I don't want them to think it's OK.  Also, I feel like it keeps my metabolism up, stupid I know.

            *  Last day I smoked 11/17/13

2.  Exercise Regularly-  I need to exercise 3 to 4 times a week, this not only helps me control my weight but it nourishes me both mentally and physically.  I need to move in order to feel strong and aware of my body.  Also, it clears my head.

3.  Eat Healthy - To me this means listening to my body. What food is helping lose weight?  What food makes me feel energized?  What food upsets my stomach or makes how much food makes me feel uncomfortable? This just means constant awareness of what I eat and how I feel after eating it. 

4.  Financial Freedom  - I have been working on this quite a bit lately.  I have been attending a Financial Peace University class and as a result I realized I can not afford my house anymore now that I am a single parent.  So I put my house on the market about 4 weeks ago and it sold in about 2 weeks.  It sold quickly and I got a great cash offer, I guess it was meant to be.  I kind of feel like everything is working out the way it was meant to be.  The kids and I are kind of sad.  I thought I would spend Christmas' there with my  grandchildren but it it too much for me to physically or financially take care of.  Also, I can't keep working 50 hours a week and still be broke because it just isn't enough income. 

This is a lot to handle all at once but I feel like when things are going right in one area of your life you can gain momentum for other areas. 

Work In Progress

I have been thinking about this for awhile, that I need to organize my life and my goals for improvement.  I truly believe that we are always a work in progress.  Sometimes I strive for perfection but I know there is no such thing and striving for it just causes disappointment which leads to more failure.  The circle of my old life. 

Because life is a living, breathing work of art, you are a painting as you go. Be a masterpiece. Drink in life. Laugh too loud. Compliment others constantly.

— Nicole Johnson

Then surprise, I opened my email and this was my inspirational quote for today.  So appropriate for how I feel today.  There are so many things in my life I need to work on right now.  I used to take the approach one thing at a time but I decided that isn't right for me anymore.  I think if you are disciplined in one area of your life it can spread to other areas.  I'm hoping anyway.  I also think that if you are struggling in one area of your life it's alright because you may be succeeding in other areas, which inturn spread positive energy through out your life.  I decided to make a list of all the things that need improvement in my life.  Who do I want to be?  What do I want my life to look like?

Weigh In

I'm still here and things are going OK, pretty much the same.  I was doing good on the sugar detox but then I screwed up.  It's hard to find food to eat, basically only vegetables, which get old kind of quick.  I wasn't very good at planning ahead and preparing food which I need to be but I'm here still fighting. 

I did go to a new aerobics class, a tone and sculpt class, and I loved it.  I was the fatest person there at first I felt awkward but then I realized I could do it and I actually enjoyed it.  I love that feeling you get the next day when your muscles are so sore but a good sore.

 

 

Day 1 - Sugar Detox

This is what I ate yesterday, baked eggs with salt and pepper, a Greek salad with chicken, feta and Tzatziki sauce, and a chopped chicken Subway salad.   I am not supposed to eat cheese, so I should have skipped the feta cheese.  Also, Tzatziki sauce I realized is yogurt based and I'm not supposed to have dairy.  I know I didn't follow the detox exactly but for me this is really good.  I only ate around 813 calories which is too low and 9% carbs. 

I was proud of myself because there is candy everywhere, at work and home.  Right now the person next to me is eating a piece of cake, ugh.  However, I am not, so small baby steps, I guess.  I feel pretty good, sometimes hungry but not miserable which is good.  I am going to try to figure out more foods I can eat to get more healthy calories. 

21 Day Sugar Detox

I'm miserable, ugh.  I weighed myself this morning and I gained 5 pounds this weekend as a result of eating birthday cake, cookies, pizza, wings and Gelato.  However, I did sort of have this realization that alcohol really send me into complete binge mode.  Friday night while playing cards with the girls, I drank too much wine and a pumpkin martini, yum, which by the way do not mix well.  I was miserable the next day.  Hung-over, starving and craving all kinds of sugar and greasy fats, which sent me into a non-productive, high calorie weekend.  Ever since I drank way too much alcohol I have been craving sugar like crazy.  The Halloween candy around the house keeps calling me by name where as last week I was doing pretty well, even forgetting we had candy in the house.   I know I am a sugar addict and that my body is used to running on sugar and carbohydrates for so long that fighting it is such a battle.  It's so hard.

I decided to give this 21 Day Sugar Detox a real solid try.  I am only going to eat things on the Good Foods list for 21 days, which I suppose means a lot of brown rice, chicken and salads.  Also, no alcohol and no candy on Halloween, now that's scary.  I may have to skip all social plans. 

I figured if I start today my 21 days will be up before Thanksgiving.  I really just want to learn to eat sugar and carbs in moderation and break the cravings, which I really believe is what thin people do.  I know I am going to be miserable, especially the first week.  I'm already miserable, so far today and it's only been about 4 hours.   I ate this piece of baked egg for breakfast.  One meal done and only 62 to go, this makes it sound more doable. 

Weigh In & Outfit of the Day

I really wanted to below 300 by today, it is so frustrating.  I hope to hell this weight stays off because it is coming off so SLOWLY.   I know I could be eating better and I definitely could be exercising more, but I feel like what I am doing is realistic.  I don't feel hungry or deprived, I actually feel really good. 

 

Sorry these pictures are horrible.  I don't know if it is my phone, the kid taking them or the lighting but I do know the are not good.  However, it is all I have right now. 

I love these jeans.  The are comfortable, they have stretch but they don't get all stretched out.  I think they are flattering dark, kind of slim cut and not too wide leg.  They are Lee jeans from Kohl's, size 24.  I can't find them on their website but they have back pockets with flaps. 

Photo bomb, this chaos is my life!

Very Slow