Tricia Getting Fit

So today I sit here not making progress actually gaining weight, see the progress tab, I'm frustrated.  I'm so frustrated that I actually sat through one of those informational meetings about gastric bypass or gastric sleeve.  I actually think surgery is a great option for me or anyone who is obese but I am such a baby.  See I have had surgeries that were not elective and they aren't much fun so electing to have surgery just scares the hell out of me.

Then.....
I saw this video by Jim Carrey and it just made since to me.

"My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul."  Jim Carrey

I heard this and it's like someone just smacked me.  Our soul makes up so many different aspects as to who we are with the body being one of them.  I believe the way I feel about my body, which is not good, is eating away at my soul. 

“There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside of them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.”
― Hermann Hesse

This is so me, I look at myself through the eyes of others or how I think others view me.  I never just allow my true self to shine though.  I don't think I even know who I am because I look at, compare and worry about how others see me.  It's kind of sad.

However, the thing that Jim Carrey says about fear really knocked the wind out of me.  I think I live in fear.  I have had a lot of shit happen to me, as most people have, but I am constantly afraid.  I know the fear I feel is paralyzing me and keeping me from the things I was meant to be and do.  Choosing fear over love is keeping me from getting healthy.  Fear keeps me stuck where I am in relationships, my career and my health.  Fear causes me to get consumed with worry about the past and the future.  Fear prevents me from putting my true self out into the world. 


I'm choosing "LOVE" and "FAITH".  Love for myself and faith that I can become a healthy person, heal my soul and live the life I envision for myself. 

So today I am officially asking the UNIVERSE to let me become the person I envision myself being.